Just U and Me!!!!!!!!!

A distant dream to just be me,

Where there will be, only love, everywhere I see.

No One to judge me for How I look,

No one to judge me like the cover of a book.

I walk along someone who simply will care

for me, for him, for all that we share.

No one to accuse me based on my past,

I have left it behind, it is buried at last.

I wish to be loved I love them too

but they dont want me, like an outgrown pair of shoe.

They break my heart into pieces everytime

I wish for someone to say “You are mine”

Why cant I too have a heart to stay

Why am I always the last in every say

Why is my voice always left unheard

Why is the hardest leason only for me to learn

Why cant life ease my pain

I have lost everything and hae nothing to gain

I wish love to find me and stay forever after

to ease my pain and emptiness and fill me with laughter

I wish to be somewhere where I could be

just as I am, JUST YOU AND ME!!!!!!

A dream

 A car came in front of me and I just dint know what to do…I turned and tried applying the breaks but no…….skrrrreeeaaakkk and baaaambbb

I don’t knw whats happening…all I knw is there are people all around me…looking down at me…saying something…no actually mumbling something…I cant hear it…

”Ambulance will be there in 5”…

Ambulance?

 What happened?

 Oh the car and….is everything fine? Y cant I move? I cant feel anything…y is all going black? Dark? Where is everyone going?

 

“hey mom!!!! Howz u?”

“I’m fine sweetie…where is dad?”

“he is gone with the doctor…Mamma what happened?”

“Nothing sweetheart….just  a bad day..”

“Daddy was saying you are gone”

“Where am I going?”

Liza my daughter, 4 yrs old sitting on my bed and talking to me…shrugged her shoulders and looked away

“Do you ever think things will be back to normal again?”

“Things are far better than normal dear…”

“I hope so too”

“Whats wrong sweety? What is that’s troubling you?”

“Am I going somewhere? Or are you going away?”

Tears filled her eyes as she was speaking these words….those long curly tresses were shinning in the sunlight and the soft blue eyes shimmered with the tears that seemed to have drowned her in a sea of emotions and dillusions.

“No baby….mamma is not going anywhere and neither are you”

“Y is daddy saying we have to go away….its time..”

“Did daddy say that?”

“ya”

“why did he say that?”

“I don’t know”

“Liza come honey we gotta go…..”

Tats Moris…but where is he? Why can’t I see him?

“ Moriss!!!!!! Moris where are you? Where are you taking Liza? Y are you leaving me?”

“Mamma I gotta go…”

“Liza..No”

“Bye bye mamma…you are always in my prayers”

“Lizaaaaaaa”

I wake up with a startle….I look around to see where am i? I was in Liza’s room…holding the photograph of Moris Liza and myself. She was an angel…she looked like Moris…tall fair..blue eyes blonde hair. As my hands touched the frame my tears started to fall on them…

 

It was a year ago when all were at home…

“Leena….lets go its time”

”Coming….”

I reach the living room…people are gathered near the fireplace next to the piano.

“Hi Leena”

“Hi, I am so glad you could make it Mrs Davis”

“Where is Moris….”

“Next to Liza”

As we all sat in the room contradicting the white polished walls of the house with the dark pitched black attires we were wearing the service began.

“We are gathered here for the last service of Moris and Liza Mckenze, Husband and daughter of Leena Mckenze………”

Tats all that I was able to hear and register. Liza did go with Moris away. That night of the accident it wasn’t just me…Moris and Liza were the ones who were hurt the most. That night I wish I could have saved my husband and my daughter but I just couldn’t do anything…My darling still looked like an angel…Moris her guardian….both the wings of my flight but torn down. I look around everyday to see if I can find them somewhere hiding and playing and just saying “Hey honey I am back”

“Mamma catch me…”

I see every nook and corner to find no one.

 

It’s been a year after the separation….I am in Liza’s room and cleaning the toys and the books cabinet which I never found the courage to open and check or clean….As I took the books she had always insisted that I never check a page fell down. I took that paper …folded by a 4 yr old…crumpled and kept safe in her books and opened it…

“You are always in my prayers Mamma….both Daddy’s and mine J”

I wept and wept my heart out…..

“You too are in my prayers Liza….I love you both…Moris”

All I heard was a voice familiar, gentle, soft that calmed my untamed heart

“We know”

 

Good Morning

Walking on the road with a mop in hand
In search of the sky, water or land
I am a wanderer, wondering between Yes or No
I have my suitcase packed and I am ready to go
I run, I climb, I walk, I play
But when time asks, I stand and stay
Places are new and the route is long
So excuse me for writing this pathetic song
I can sing and smile and talk and dance
Oh please Oh God, give me just one chance
I will prove to all that I am worth
No gold or silver, but of soil on earth
I can laugh out loud and roll on the floor
When you will hear me sing you will say NO MORE
I will make your eyes cry and stomach to pain
You laugh so much, there will be nothing left to gain
I will be a worm for you, that glows with no glum
For every night the sun, shines out of my bum
I have 32 teeth and 2 more on their way
All screaming and shouting
“Have an awesome Day”

Friends for life…………..

I crossed the place where memories where made………sweet cruel horrid beautiful subtle and harsh……….all different adjectives describing the same “MEMORIES”. As I was about to walk pass by the route I had crossed years ago I just stopped. Something just took a grip of my feet and all I felt was I had gone paralyzed leg down and couldn’t walk. The soil of the place and the fragrance of the similar friendly surrounding just stopped everything around me. The time the pace and some reason it had stopped me as well.

As I walked nearer I saw a group of friends sitting near the lake and giggling and laughing and just having fun. Nothing different about this situation. But this dragged me deep within my thought and I suddenly could see as a vision of the past when it was my friends and me who use to sit at that very same place.

It was the lake where we all went and sat for a break from the hectic and crazy world running all around us. Singing and pulling each other’s leg and talking our heart out to each other. Hours use to pass away like minutes and we just wished we could sit there like this forever. Shift our workplace there we would be the most loyal employees of the company. Indeed this thought crossed our minds many times.

Today that lake still waits for listening the most horrid melodies of those friends who were kids at heart and mind….but time passed by.
“Things change and we remain the same” heard this statement from many people but the painful truth will always remain that “things remain the same
we just move away”.

Throw a stone in the lake ripples are formed………..as each ripples moves away the water draws in towards the center. The same with life
as the ripples called time moves away, as each day goes by we grow old and drift away from many people but the memories become strong and strong
and move closer to us.

Years later we know when we will cross each other we will still shout and smile like we always did……we will remain kids the same we were……..aged kids who will stay kids forever………
maybe its true when said “I moved away from you but came more closer to your heart”

I realized that time just passed away so soon that the memories started hurting in the heart. I turned and decided to walk back to my destination. As I just started moving I heard someone call my name. I turned and I smiled………….there standing were my friend with whom I had made such beautiful memories at the same place……and its true I realized then no matter how much we change for the world we live in……… we will still remain same for the world we have lived with.

Love u guys 🙂

Life…..Luv….

I watched him smile……the innocence on his face as he talked to her…..the sparkle in his eyes which just made me feel so light deep in my heart….the hair dancing as the winds just blow over them as if teasing them to play and dance……the strong lean body of his blocking the sunrays and appearing at its best as the sunlight shone more brightly all around him………..I wish he could listen to me….but what will I say…..i was mouth tied  as he gazed at me and then smiled…..i went all cold when he started walking towards me with her by his side………catching her soft tender hands in his strong calm and warm hand and talking to her softly in her ears afraid that their secret will be out to the world…..she smiled at every step with him knowing that she can’t fall when he is there by her side………clinging on to his firm arm for the first time that day she gazed at me…….and smiled…..then she waved with that beautiful innocence that it made me believe that angels do exists in this world…..a wink at me, made me smile with tears in my eyes……..i waved back and chuckled…..

They came and stood infront of me……..still smiling to the brim was this little angel with flowers in her hand and dreams in her eyes…..dreams which she knows will be fulfilled by this man standing next to her……she looked at him and he bent down as she whispered in his ears……he smiled with tears in his eyes as she said………”We miss you mom”…….she kept the flowers at my grave and kissed my graveyard stone where engraved was my name and “I’ll be with you angel forever and always”.

They turned and walked off……leaving me alone in this wait when they will return………waiting for that wink, that smile…..those words……These were the angels in my life……..my husband and my daughter……who knew I was here waiting for them everyday………In the hope of meeting again……..somwhere our hearts knew that this was the place………where heart can feel despite the eyes cannot see………….

May b this is what is called LOVE afterall JJ

FRIENDS: JUST 4 U

LOVE U PALS:

i din’t knw wat it was 2 b happy until u thought me how 2 smile
i din’t knw wat it was 2 laugh until u came 2 wipe my tears
i din’t knw wat it was 2 say “I KNW IM NOT ALONE” until u came and said “I WILL ALWAYS B THERE FOR YOU”
i din’t knw wat it was like 2 live until i met u

MY OWN………..

wen u wanted 2 cry and no one was ther
wen u wanted 2 hold on but emotions failed
wen all u wanted was a hand 2 hold
wen u wanted 2 tell things which were already knwn

u felt that life was lonely
and nothin was ther
when emtipness was only the one
standing with u
all u needed was a word of or two
those words culd be mine my frnd 4 u………

wen the world shut its windows
and darkness was spread
wen sun refused to shine
and happiness started 2 dread

u felt the world was cumin 2 an end
and always only u had to bend
wen u lost ur shadow on ur way
at tat time all u had 2 say
I am not alone…..I just need 2 fly

I hav my wings spread…..and the sky cries

Oh just cum on my love is all it says

in the end this flight is mine…….mine alone today

LOVE……….

Some whispers in my ear

with a soft soothing voice

melted my heart today

that love in disguise

a warmth filled me up

as i heard him say

OH MY DA’LING

U ARE ALL I HAVE TODAY

A gentle touch on my skin

like soft velvet feather

absorbed inside me

the light dew of winter

i felt it touch my heart as he said

OH MY DA’LING

U ARE ALL I HAVE TODAY

A bitter time of sorrow

when he goes away

A mystery of tomorow

when he will stay

he always see the future

with me in his arms

he holds me closely to him

and with so much charm

I knw i always start loving

him more than i do

when he softly gazes in my eyes and says

DA’LING I LOVE YOU

Love notes

Lets walk miles together today,

with the one we love by our side,

Lets hold each others hand,

and become each others guide,

Lets take each step forward together,

on the path called LIFE,

Lets cry from within and,

laugh through the eyes,

and tell all that in love,

the heart rules the mind.

Show the sun that he is

not the only one who brightens our life,

Show the moon that his

calmness is not alone alone

who is there all night,

Show the stars that they

alone don’t fall and make

wishes come true,

Show the world that

stories of broken hearts in love

are not new.

When I saw You

for the first time,

My heart skipped a beat……

When i walked

with you a few miles,

I felt the coolness in the day heat……..

When i spoke to You

I knew what You are to me You knew…….

So today I decided to confess

I LOVE YOU.

DREAM

I dream of flying

in the open air like a free bird……….

touching the sky and feeling the wind on my face

carrying the sun and moon on each of my wings……………..

I want to fly like i will never fly again

I dream of running

in the green land of gold………..

feeling the mud as i run over it

seeing my impressions left on the wet clay………..

I want to run like i will never run again
I dream of walking

at the beach

with the sea washing my feet as i walk………

sliding the sand underneath them

sun setting by my side……….

taking me along with it to fairyland

i want to walk like i will never walk again

I dream of being

with you

hugging you when i feel low………..

strong shoulders to lie back on

filling me with warmth of your hands as u hold mine…………….

i want dream about you like i will never dream again